A Few Words With the Sea
I walked down the steps to talk with the Sea.
“Sea,” I said, “I know you can’t hear me but I marvel about how you keep up your multi-layered rushing day-after-day, year-after-year impressing us for time immemorial. I . . . ”
“Hold it right there, Sparky. What is this “day” you speak of, or “year” for that matter. And do you really think I do this for your benefit? Ha! I’m the Sea. It’s what I DO! If I didn’t I wouldn’t be the Sea then, now would I? Tell ya what, Nimrod. Here’s how it works. Winds and Storms and most importantly the Tides ( lunar and solar) move water across my being culminating in the waves you claim to see. Yeah, what you claim to see; I don’t have eyes, you know.”
And I said, “But I just KNOW you sent that big wave up onto the beach to re-instill a sense of wonder and awe and humbleness in me.”
Said the Sea, “Hah! Hey, King Biscuit! Who made YOU the centre of the Universe? Oh, yeah. YOU did, Chowderhead. Talk about self-important! Do you really think I have any time to worry how you’re going to react to a single wave in Crab Bait, Oregon (or whatever you call it), I’ve got a full time job just trying to keep it together. What with the continuous heartburn from that undersea volcano in Hawaii or that typhoon in Indonesia (boy, did things ever get out of hand there!) I can’t be bothered with a little speck like you and what he thinks. I don’t care what you think. Remember, I don’t have eyes. I can’t see you. You mean nothing to me. I have no awareness of who’s on the beach (no eyes, remember?) and frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. And now if you’ll excuse me I have more important work to do.
With that, the Sea fell silent and I stood there, staring into the receding surf.
All of a sudden a giant wave reared up and came crashing down on me. It shouted, “He-e-e-re’s one with you name on it, Gomer!”
Totally drenched, I screamed into the surf, “I thought you couldn’t see us and didn’t play favourites!”
“I LIED!” screamed the Sea, giggling mirthfully.